However, many on the Internet claimed that Depp was the clear “winner” before the jury began deliberations, but the details that emerged combined with the public nature of the case led to conflicting messages for teenagers and young adults. while watching it develop on social media. .
A high school girl I spoke to commented that most of her male peers seemed to be celebrating them by posting “Justice for Johnny” on their Instagram stories. Another called for clarification on the term “mutual abuse.” My own teenage daughter handed me her phone and asked me to talk to her because she didn’t pay attention to the trial, but some of her friends did.
I am concerned about internalized messages that may result from a case showing relational toxicity and normalized violence within a relationship. While the case focused on defamation lawsuits, shared content (and shared and shared) focused on a volatile relationship that was widely sensationalized on social media applications. The nuances of victimization are hard to determine from short clips with catchy melodies.
Dating violence between teens and teens is not uncommon. Statistics compiled by Philadelphia Children’s Hospital show that 1 in 3 teens in the United States is physically or sexually, emotionally, or verbally abused by a dating partner. A study conducted by the Children’s Hospital on domestic violence showed that victimization began to increase at the age of 13, showed a sharp increase between the ages of 15 and 17 and continued to increase between the ages of 18 and 22. adolescents and young adults need accurate information about development. healthy intimate relationships and how to get help if a relationship becomes aggressive or violent. U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention characterizes adolescent dating violence as an adverse childhood experience that can have short- and long-term consequences, such as depression and anxiety, substance abuse, suicidal ideation, and future risk. relationship problems. As a therapist, I hear a lot of language normalization that deprives young people who identify with women and LGBTQIA, jokes that push boundaries and make young people uncomfortable, peer pressure around sex and intimate relationships, and relational aggressions that are not controlled and unresolved.
Young people do not know how to manage complicated relationships without support and education to set healthy boundaries. Parents can take this opportunity to talk to preteens and teens about dating violence and how to develop healthy dating relationships.
Create a secure space
Creating a safe space to talk to teens is helpful in understanding the dynamics of what goes on in your daily life away from home. In fact, teens tell me they want conversations with adults, but they care about judgment and answers.
“Validating your emotions is important because young relationships can have an incredible emotional charge,” said Alison Trenk, a licensed clinical social worker and relationship therapist who works with teens and young adults. “They’re trying to come up with just a handful of years of life experience.”
But don’t start trying to solve your problems right away: Trenk warns that if you enter answer mode immediately, it will end the conversation.
Parents become a source of confidence for their children when they slow down and take the time to listen, validate emotions, empathize with complex feelings, and share accurate information and resources to help their teens work things out. “Validate strong feelings first so you can talk through the nuance of intimate relationships,” Trenk said.
Talk about healthy relationships
It’s a mistake to assume that teens know everything they need to know about developing healthy relationships from seeing role models. They need specific guidance.
Trenk suggests encouraging teens to explore their values and how they relate to relationships: “One question you can ask is, how do you move toward a healthy connection that is in line with your values?”
Healthy relationships are built on trust, honesty, and respect. Start with these values, but ask your child to add them. Together, you can create a cloud of value words that, when used intimately, create strong connections.
Know the warning signs
Relationships between teens can be both exciting and overwhelming. It’s easy to get lost in the highs, but miss some of the first warning signs of anxiety in a relationship.
Jealousy and intense discussion, behavior control, constant tracking on Snap Maps or tracking apps, excessive communication, undue criticism, and requests to a partner to keep secrets about behavior within the relationship are signs of an unhealthy relationship.
Examine power issues
“If teens struggle for the connection, exploiting power is not helpful,” Trenk said. “Unevenly distributed power leads to disconnection.”
Talk to your teen about the power differences that can occur in the context of relationships. In a healthy relationship, power is evenly distributed. Each person retains their individuality and feels free to express themselves because their relationship is based on mutual respect. This is an example of positive power.
Power differentials, on the other hand, can occur when one partner uses manipulation or force to dispossess the other and gain control of the relationship. This development can occur gradually in adolescent relationships.
Teach assertiveness skills
All teens need to learn how to set healthy boundaries and affirm their feelings and needs in a relationship. A boundary is a clear line that your child draws to maintain a healthy relationship and can include physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and time limits. Help your teen think about healthy boundaries and how to communicate them to a partner.
Setting boundaries can be difficult for teens, who often face pressure from a variety of sources. Practice at home playing role-playing games with your child or encouraging them to practice in the mirror.
Get help
If you notice changes in your teen’s behavior, such as mood swings, eating and sleeping habits, academic struggles, loss of interest in regular daily activities, avoidance of friends, irritability, or highly reactive behaviors, seek help to to your teen. While open and honest communication in a supportive language is a good start, you don’t have to go through that alone. A licensed mental health doctor can help your child and you navigate through this difficult time.
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, help is available on the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474.