Name: Snake bites.
Age: Old.
Appearance: two deep marks of tusks, somewhere fleshy.
I hope it is a pleasant and cheerful passing note. It is not.
Oh come on. The country is on fire. Prices are going up. Can’t we have a lovely story about snakes? No. According to the journal Clinical Toxicology, which was based on data from the UK’s National Poison Information Service, the number of people who have been bitten by snakes has skyrocketed in recent years.
Shit, snakes! I know, and I’m sorry, but the facts speak for themselves. Doctors in the UK have treated 321 snake bites in the last 11 years.
It’s crazy. What have we done to make wicker so angry? You misunderstand me. These are not people who are randomly attacked by snakes in the wild.
Oh, thank God. No, these are people who keep venomous snakes as pets, and then are attacked by these pets, sometimes with terrible consequences.
This is even worse somehow! Is. Some of the snake bites have resulted in intensive care stays, amputations and, in one case, death.
What kind of snakes are doing this? Varia. Some of the most serious bites come from species such as the king snake (which can stand on its tail to bite its face) and a spitting snake from Mozambique (which is said to be one of the most dangerous snakes in the world). Africa).
Poisonous snakes sound like absolutely terrible pets, you know. Don’t be stupid. There is something majestic and mysterious about the poisonous snake. They demand to be treated with the utmost respect.
Well, I guess if they are being carefully guarded by owners who understand the dangers … Did I mention that in 13 cases, the snake had bitten a child under five?
What the hell? But it is legal to keep exotic poisonous pets in your home, as long as you have the proper license.
It is a relief. So I can continue my day normally, then. You can. Whenever you decide to deliberately ignore the highly deadly saw-scale viper that was found loose in Salford in December.
What!? And don’t forget that snakes are much more likely to escape their enclosures when it’s hot, as they did in 2018 when a “massive eruption” of captive snakes occurred.
Okay, I’ll never go out again, then. That’s all right. It is still uncommon for a snake to bite it. You are much more likely to get hurt in a car accident, fire, or fall on the street. Honestly, the whole world is a total deadly trap, and snakes are probably the least of your worries.
That doesn’t help. Sorry.
Say, “Snake bites are becoming more common in the UK.”
Don’t say, “In my day, we all had gerbils.”