When Mary-Anne Paterson lost her mother, Anne, to breast cancer, she knew she wanted to do something in her memory.
Now she is creating glass jewelry from her mother’s ashes.
“Mum always wanted to do something different … she never wanted to be stuck in a jar,” says the Townsville woman.
“At the funeral she wanted to be taken down [the song] Another One Bites the Dust… had a weird sense of humor.
“Mother always said she’d come after me if I left her in the fireplace.”
Mary-Anne creates a glass bead from some of her mother’s ashes. (ABC North Queensland: Mia Knight)
More Australians are opting for cremation over cemetery.
So far this year, 76% of Queenslanders who have died have been cremated.
And while some people prefer to keep a loved one’s ashes in an urn or scatter their ashes in a memorable location, others are getting creative.
In addition to jewelry, ashes can be turned into tattoo ink and even fireworks.
‘It helps a lot’
Ms Paterson says she hopes to pass on the jewelery she has made to her children.
“To do something special like this where I could maybe wear it… I know it sounds a little weird, but to go from that morbid ash to a beautiful piece of glass, it’s amazing,” he said.
Alison Velvin says working with glass can be therapeutic. (ABC North Queensland: Mia Knight)
Glass artist Alison Velvin started creating ‘memory beads’ after losing her cat Tinkerbell last year.
“I wanted to bring her close,” Ms. Velvin says.
Pearls only require a small amount of ash, about a quarter of a teaspoon.
Beads are made by molding glass with a small amount of ash. (ABC North Queensland: Mia Knight)
“You have to sift the ash so it’s just powdered ash, you can’t incorporate coarse ash,” Ms Velvin says.
“Once you have the barrel made of molten glass… you roll the hot glass over the ashes and then melt a layer of clear glass on top.
“People can look at the memory beads and say, ‘yes, that’s my person’ or ‘that’s my pet.’
“When people work with their ashes, they are a little hesitant at first and then they get lost in the process.
“Beads can be made into key chains, pendants… they can just carry it in their pocket. It helps a lot.”
Dr Margaret Gibson says turning a loved one’s ashes into art can be very comforting. (ABC North Queensland: Mia Knight)
Gayle Hayter lost her husband of 40 years, Allan, six years ago. After he was cremated, she packed away his ashes, but now she’s also making keepsake beads with them.
“I have struggled to do anything with his ashes,” says Mrs Hayter.
“It was very important for me to go through his ashes and take some of it, but I’ve done it and I think he would be happy with what I’m doing.
“The more commemorative things I can do, the better it will make me feel.”
Gayle Hayter (left) says she struggled to do anything with her husband’s ashes. (ABC North Queensland: Mia Knight)
Rising from the ashes
Dr Margaret Gibson, cultural sociologist and senior lecturer at Griffith University, says that for some people, creating something from the ashes can help them grieve the loss of a loved one.
“There’s always a need to try to give that deceased loved one a sense of place,” says Dr. Gibson.
“Using the ashes and turning them into something can be very comforting and a way to give them a place.”
Ashes can also be used in fireworks. (ABC News: Steven Schubert)
He says fireworks are one of the more quirky options.
“It’s quite celebratory, literally going out with a bang,” says Dr Gibson.
“There is something ephemeral about fireworks.”
So will cemeteries never die?
The short answer is probably not.
Dr Gibson says expense and practicality are key factors in moving away from cemeteries.
“People don’t necessarily want to bury their loved one in a place where they no longer live,” he says.
“Ashes are much more portable and you can take them with you and make a decision later on what to do with them.”
Only 20 per cent of Queenslanders who died in the last six months were buried in a grave. (Provided by Stan Shaw)
Although space is limited in cemeteries, many people still prefer the idea of a traditional burial.
“When it comes to religion, in the Jewish and Muslim traditions and for some Christians, burial is still considered the proper way to bury a person,” says Dr Gibson.
“A lot of funerals now are really secular and personalized.”
Whether you want to be buried or cremated, Dr Gibson says it’s important for friends and family to remember that there is “no right way” to grieve.
“Everyone suffers differently,” she says.