Lin* does not answer phone calls from unknown numbers. Always.
Support for family and domestic violence:
It’s been that way since a man she briefly dated 10 years ago began inundating her with threats and abuse online and over the phone.
“He was really nice, but he wasn’t my usual type,” said Lin, who had met her abuser through an online dating site.
However, in the three months and seven dates they spent together, she began to notice some red flags.
“I would say all his exes were psychopaths,” she said.
“I told him I didn’t want to have children. And I couldn’t have biological children. But he was determined to have children.”
What happened to Lin highlights the findings of a key national report – released Thursday – about a complex and widespread method of abuse that is far more common than many people think.
Far-reaching effects of technological abuse in Australia
The first known representative study of its kind, commissioned by Australia’s National Research Center for Women’s Safety (ANROWS), has revealed that half of all Australian adults have experienced technology-facilitated abuse at some point of his life
This staggering figure includes a variety of issues and victims: from a man abusing a male partner online to a stranger stalking someone on social media to an ex monitoring a former partner’s movements via an application
The research, which consists of an initial sample of more than 4,500 Australian adults, also highlights the profound impact technology abuse can have on minority groups, and in particular women, who are far more likely to to experience it at the hands of an intimate partner.
Almost three quarters of lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) Australians, two in three Indigenous people and three in five disabled people have been victims.
And not only were women more likely to experience technology-facilitated abuse at the same time as other forms of abuse, but the emotional and psychological scars left by perpetrators were felt deeply and lasted longer.
Asher Flynn, who co-authored the research, said the victims and survivors interviewed were very clear about the ongoing and ongoing harm and fear they felt as a result.
“Because it’s technology-based, because you’re being abused on your phone or you’re being harassed, it’s this omnipresence, this sense that the abuse is never ending,” Dr. Flynn explained.
“It’s hard to trust new relationships, all the patterns we see in the physical forms of damage. But it increases, in a sense, because it’s your whole world.
“It can also be difficult for people to trust the devices again. It’s forced isolation. They can’t trust going on social media or online.”
ANROWS Executive Director Padma Raman said that while the abuse of technology is just another mechanism for perpetrators, it highlights the impact and prevalence it has today.
“It’s a really important control mechanism. It can be repeated and we can see this pattern of abuse,” he said.
For Lin, the relentless harassment led her down a long and painful road, during which she felt her grip on the physical and online worlds slipping away.
It started as messages on Facebook, texts on her phone, and then too many phone calls to count.
Lin would wake up and then see the messages. It would be like this for her every day. After about a month, it would be every other day.
Not once did he respond to any of the messages or phone calls.
From a very bad feeling to a waking nightmare
One day, her abuser sent a photo of her sleeping naked, which he took without her permission, and told her he was going to share it online.
Then the messages got much darker.
“He told me he wanted to rape me because that’s what I deserved. Then he said he was sorry and he loved me, he didn’t mean anything,” she said.
The police were sympathetic, Lin says, but legally their hands were tied. It was 2012 and at the time there were no laws that adequately covered image-based sexual abuse.
He asked his friends to block him on Facebook and then deleted all his social media profiles, including LinkedIn.
“That was probably the hardest. I lost myself [employment and professional] opportunities,” he said.
Still, there was always that gnawing fear. What if I created another profile?
He worked in the IT sector. What was his skill set? Could he find a way back to her?
Technical security should not be the responsibility of the victim
The report calls for more resources, training and education to shine a light on the seriousness of technology abuse and the responsibility of government and services to protect victims.
The country’s online safety regulator, E-Safety, wants tech companies to create safer products. Its Safety by Design initiative provides guidance on the risks of misuse.
Commissioner Julie Inman Grant said simply shutting us off from the online world was not the answer to keeping Australians safe.
“As a society, we need to adjust our collective mindset and shift our focus, from what victim-survivors can do to keep us safe to what we must do to end abuse and hold perpetrators accountable perpetrators,” said Inman Grant.
“Used safely, technology can provide a lifeline that keeps victims/survivors connected to loved ones, support services and employment.
“There is no question that experiences of technological abuse are silencing the voices and opinions of minority groups and women in online spaces.”
Mrs. Raman agreed.
“That means frontline workers, police and support workers. And we need to make reporting easier. People don’t actually know how to report this abuse,” she added.
For Lin, the far-reaching impact of its author haunts her to this day.
“There’s always the fear that he’ll find me. It’s the unknown, what would he do if he saw me [in real life] do to him? I don’t know what his reaction would be.”
She hopes that her own trauma can help others understand that what is happening to them can be just as painful and traumatic as any other form of abuse or violence, and that they too deserve to feel safe.