The Lodges have tidied up in a desperate attempt to be taken seriously. But there is one important element of the show that runs the risk of getting lost.
Like a caterpillar emerging from its cocoon like a really bogan butterfly, the Logies has undergone a transformation.
The night of television nights, which returns this evening after a two-year break induced by the pandemic, has been constantly trying to renew its perception by transforming the national joke into a cherished honor.
The ceremony had the whole class of a fashion show at a regional mall. It used to be about celebrating soap stars with icy laces and flammable dresses.
With the advent of social media, we all enjoyed making the same lame jokes every year about how ridiculous the ceremony was.
“Blah, blah, blah, Rock Eisteddfod,” we tweeted sarcastically, before adding something about Karl getting drunk again.
But the Logies have been slowly cleaning up. Despite Tom Gleeson’s dedication to derailing the night by hijacking the votes for the top prize, the ceremony has undergone an unstoppable evolution. Like a rural cousin who goes to the big smoke for college and comes home for Christmas with a decent medium haircut and an addiction to Messina, the Logies have become a bit sophisticated.
The focus has expanded to include a wide range of talent and shows. At the last ceremony of 2019, Australian Gardening Costa was in the race for Gold, proving that the night was no longer just a showcase of twenty-five. At Home And Far.
Remember when Karl won a gong in 2011 and took the opportunity to state that his then-wife had “the best ass I’ve ever seen”? Well, times have changed.
We no longer accept speeches that sound like they might be delivered at a drunken 21st birthday party. The bar has been raised.
The platform that offers the maximum prize of the night has been used by the winners in recent years to defend important causes. Carrie Bickmore used her 2015 victory to draw attention to brain cancer while the 2017 winner, Samuel Johnson, dedicated the award to her sick sister.
When The Project Waleed Aly won gold in 2016, delivered an inspiring speech that blended humor with intelligence and addressed diversity. It was the most refined moment ever spent in the Lodges.
How to get a decent haircut and go to Messina, all these developments are positive and should be maintained. But we must also preserve the adhesion that forms the DNA of the Lodges. That little golden man can’t forget his bogane roots.
During tonight’s broadcast, we want poorly designed schemes of presenters who just don’t get their comic delivery right. We want Hughesy to go on stage and talk trash to his teammates while the cameras are cut in the face to make awkward reactionary plans.
At 11pm, when we’re half asleep on the couch and the ceremony is only a quarter of the way, we want Jessica Mauboy, Samantha Jade and Delta Goodrem to collaborate on a comprehensive medley as the star of the night. It’s our version of the Super Bowl half-time performance, damn it!
And has an international special guest been confirmed for tonight? The best part of the ceremony every year is when the producers trick a Hollywood celebrity into coming.
Previous stars have included Jessica Alba, Matt Le Blanc and all members of Destiny’s Child other than Beyonce. It’s always a pleasure when the camera is aimed at the audience all night and we see them getting more and more confused about why the hell they were forced to come and hang out with a guy named Daryl Somers.
One might think that attendance would have increased when the ceremony moved from Melbourne to the Gold Coast in 2018, but it’s almost as if organizers are deliberately refusing to support it. The splendor! The glamor! The glasses! That’s all. Don’t resist.
Yes, every year we mourn the shame of the ceremony. But we wouldn’t want it any other way. We make fun of each other just as we make fun of our best friends and family. Because we love them.
After a two-year hiatus, it is vital that the organizers return at a glance to demonstrate the relevance of the Lodges to Australian culture. Going big or going home.
And if the highlight of the night doesn’t include downloading Gold Coast icon Schapelle Corby to the auditorium with a cable as if she were Nikki Webster at the opening ceremony of the 2000 Sydney Olympics, the producers just won’t ‘work hard enough.
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