WHEN Simon Thomas’ wife Gemma began to experience headaches, the doctors ruled out the symptoms.
Without letting go, the 40-year-old mother went to her local office three times, complaining of night sweats, bruises and fatigue.
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Simon Thomas’ wife Gemma felt unwell when she experienced headaches (Simon and Gemma pictured above)
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When Gemma died, she left Simon and his son Ethan behind
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Since then, Simon has been able to find happiness again with his wife Derrina ThomasCredit: Instagram
In November 2017 he developed a hematoma in his thigh and his headaches became severe.
She was told her symptoms could be related to stress, but were later transferred to A&E.
Gemma died three days later after being diagnosed with AML.
Adult acute myeloid leukemia is a very rare blood cancer.
Simon’s father said: “Blood cancer is the fifth most common cancer and the third largest cause of cancer deaths.
“It takes 15,000 lives a year, almost 40 every day.”
The TV expert is currently promoting a contest in favor of Blood Cancer UK for a lucky winner to take home a £ 3 million house in Cornwall, but he is quick to promise that he will not enter himself.
“I think someone would smell a rat if they came in and won,” he laughs.
The relatively small charity is exceptionally close to his heart.
Tragically, Simon’s wife, Gemma, died before the family could receive support from Blood Cancer UK, but it’s still a cause she cares about. “People know the symptoms of breast cancer,” he says.
“If you go to just about any football pitch in the UK, there are signs in men’s restrooms talking about prostate cancer, but I bet if I went to the local main street right now, no one would know the symptoms of blood cancer.”
After two years of counseling to help him cope with his wife’s death, Simon also made sure that his 12-year-old son Ethan had the support he desperately needed.
“We both benefited from having people to talk to, and we both spent two years working with our individual counselors,” admits Simon frankly.
“Ethan’s counselor was an amazing guy named Colin. He’s an actor and a counselor and we saw him in a McDonald’s ad, but last week he was watching the John Darwin drama Canoe Man and he was there.
“I showed Ethan the next morning and we both loved seeing him.”
What Blood Cancer Symptoms Do You Need To Know?
Common signs of blood cancer include:
- Tiredness, shortness of breath, pallor.
- Rash, bruising or unexplained bleeding.
- Infections or unexplained fever.
- Lumps and swelling.
- Bone pain.
- Soaking night sweats.
- Itching of the skin.
- Unexplained weight loss.
After finishing counseling, Ethan has raised funds for Grief Encounter, the charity that helped the couple navigate their trauma.
Meanwhile, Simon’s support for Blood Cancer UK is not the only way to help others who have found themselves in a similar position of disaffection.
“I’ve always thought of Ethan more than myself,” says Simon.
“But inevitably, when you go through what we have in public, people in a similar position send you a message asking for your help or they want to share their story.
“I get a lot of messages and I think when you’re in the public eye and open up about grief, or something that people have a hard time vocalizing, people find it very comforting.
“I think there is almost this undeclared permission for people to come over and tell me their story.
“People will tell me really heartbreaking things, but I’ve learned that I have to be pretty cautious. It’s not about not caring, but can I take home the stories I’m hearing? Can I take on the trauma of others?”
The house has changed for the father of one: he and Ethan moved out of the house they shared as a family of three to a different house not far away and the location is not the only change they have seen as couple since they lost Gemma.
POINT WITH UKRAINE
Simon remarried in July last year, his wife Derrina Jebb is a lawyer, and while the new family of three has gone through grief, a pandemic, a move and the loss of their beloved father. of Simon during the Covid in 2020, they would be forgiven. closing their doors and trying to process what has happened, but instead they are on a waiting list to house a Ukrainian family.
“Ethan was taught not to take things for granted in a very painful way four years ago,” says Simon.
“He understands that people or things aren’t always here forever. He knows we’re lucky to live in a beautiful house and enjoy a lot of things. When we were talking about this, I said, ‘Imagine what’s going on here. .
“Imagine that you have to leave everything and you have to go down to the coast, to Dover. I hope you get on a ferry where it is safe, where there are no planes to attack you.
“Imagine living in a house with total strangers and worrying about me here. This is what is happening to these people in Ukraine.
“They have to flee their homes, their lives are being turned around overnight.
“I think what he has achieved, he has achieved. His experience is different in some respects, but the same in others. He understands that life is turned upside down, so he has wanted to help a lot.”
As her wait continues, May has been a long month for Ethan, the end-of-term tests and Gemma’s birthday are both this month and even though Gemma doesn’t have a grave in a cemetery because Simon and Ethan visits her, she has such a special place. you can go and remember her.
“Our old house was by the river Thames,” says Simon.
“There was communal land by the river outside our garden.
“I knew I was going to move after what happened, but I wanted something, somewhere where Ethan could come back for his own memories as the years went by.
“I didn’t want to, I didn’t want a grave and a cemetery because that’s not for us. But in May 2018 we planted a tree on his birthday and put a small plaque in the background.
“I always say, if someone else asks me for advice in these areas, the most important thing with any child who has been through it is to give them permission and space to talk about their mother if she wants to, and if she does.” that’s fine too.
“She has had to develop a level of emotional maturity that her peers would not necessarily have at this age. She has an emotional intellect beyond boys and girls of that age because she has had to do a lot of growing up.”
HOURS BUSY
After a busy few months, both Simon and Ethan are waiting for the end of the school year and some downtime.
Simon has been working for the BBC, Amazon and Sky Sports News for the past few weeks, and while his schedule is anything but quiet, he, along with millions of others, have found time to keep up. -updates with Partygate and after talking on his Twitter channel about the state of the nation’s politics, he says he considers himself a public official.
“A couple of my friends over the last year have suggested that I run in a certain way. I’ve thought about it, but right now I’ve done nothing but think, but one or two people have told me.
“The only way to change the culture of what’s going on is to put the cross at the polls or get involved, right?
“I care about people and I have found the last few months politically difficult because I lost my father during the pandemic.
“It wasn’t Covid, but I remember very well that I was waiting to go to the hospital with the full PPE to say goodbye to him. I remember what it was like to sit there and wait, so I’ve been fired a lot in the last few weeks.
“There are so many people who could not say goodbye to those they loved and goodbyes are so important in starting the mourning process.
“Not being able to say that makes this process a lot harder. There’s the end point of death, but not the end point in terms of the last moments you have with that person.
“And that’s something that people will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. That’s why it matters what’s going on and that’s why I’m so angry.”
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The mixed family has been working with Blood Cancer UKCredit: Instagram
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