Obviously Brits can be reserved too, so anything can be fine in normal situations, but we’re also known to loosen up considerably after a few drinks, whereas Germans tend to loosen up a bit less depending on the context, of couse. Germans can certainly party like the best of us, but on a day-to-day basis you’re more likely to find them drunk than hammering away and trying to breakdance on a table.
The best course of action is to match the mood of your hosts, which may seem boring or too serious at first, but will help you avoid any social blunders. You may also be pleasantly surprised at how quickly your guard drops once the drinks are flowing and you’ve shown yourself to be polite. Also, if you become friends with a German, the bonds are likely to be a little more genuine and last longer.
2. Be polite and learn your Du and Sie
Outside of drinking contexts, note that, like French and Spanish, and unlike English, the German language has both formal and informal ways of addressing you. “Sie” is used for formal or official situations, such as talking to a stranger, visiting a doctor, dealing with service personnel, and more generally is a sign of respect when addressing people big “Du” is used for friends, acquaintances you may know well, or people you feel comfortable addressing informally, including younger people.
Although many Germans are understanding when it comes to mistakes made by non-German speakers, “Du” – making someone worthy of a “Sie” can at least elicit a quizzically raised eyebrow and, at worst, cause offense If you’re not sure which to use, go with “Sie,” but note that the corresponding verbs also change accordingly: the informal “Kannst du mir helfen? (“Can you help me?”) becomes “Können Sie mir helfen?” in the formal mode, for example. If a German speaker addresses you with “du”, it’s a green light to do the same in return.
Germans also place a lot of importance on titles, and people are expected to use them in formal situations, so if you’re introduced to someone like Herr Professor Doktor von Eierkuchen, make sure you use that instead of ” Pass the salt mate?” Oh, and don’t use Fräulein either – it’s considered chauvinistic and outdated, just like the French Mademoiselle.
3. Expect strict limits when it comes to sharing personal information
As well as being somewhat tight-lipped about personal space, Germans are also famously distrustful of personal data, a cultural trait often explained by the intense surveillance regimes of the 20th century. German data privacy laws are some of the strictest in Europe, many Germans go out of their way to opt out of Google Maps’ Street View service by requiring their homes to be blurred out, CCTV is nowhere near the same level than in the UK (a Berlin-based activist movement called Camover showed citizens how to subvert the cameras), and official communications are usually sent by letter to prevent confidential information from being posted online.
This reluctance to spill too many personal biggies can also result in painfully short small talk exchanges. Even if you keep the conversation loose instead of diving headfirst into asking someone what they make, how much tax they pay, or what their exact street address is, you might start to consider waterboarding techniques just to try to figure out which is your new German Friend did at the weekend or what are his hobbies.
In a slightly ironic twist not lost on us expats, Germans – especially the older ones – are generally not shy about invading personal space by staring intently at anyone they find different or curious; for hours